Wanna MakeOut?

Alright horribly, horribly jet lagged, will post tomorrow I swear, as i have a great story about the plane, oh believe me its worth the wait!

OH Good Lord its been a hectic two weeks, I haven't forgotten about you, I swear, I will be posting soon! From a different country no less! Wish me luck, plane rides scare me!

OK back in the computer lab, going on two hours sleep here, does anyone else think this unhealthy??? I am getting too damn old for this I tell you! Did I mention its my birthday on Saturday I will accept all gifts, as long as its money or flowers (not picky at all i swear). Yeah unfortunately with all of the work I have to do I'm not sure how much fun I can have on the actual day of birth. I am going out with friends and there are some fun things available for us to partake in but ugh I don't know if I have the energy to dance all night, I know I have an appointment with my ex and her fiance. Thats a weird situation, she and I were dating when we both met him, we were both attracted he was attracted to both of us, we were kind of a three person couple for a while (short while I don't share well) and now they are engaged I love the argument they have when deciding whether I am the maid of honour or the best woman. They always come see me on my bday (anniversary of us all meeting it was five years ago), and we always have a good night, not sure how my friends here will react though. They are ok with me being bi but not sure how well they will deal with the three of us together. Should be interesting anyways.

Alright I have to do some work, I might write more later.....

Right so I think I have mentioned that this is my week from hell right? Right well its been hell just as predicted so I haven't had much of an adventure all week and its killing me. There is only so much masturbating you can do quickly before you fall asleep in sheer exhaustion!

To be honest I don't even have the energy to blog right now..... that sucks I know. BUT I swear I will have lots of stories soon, its my bday this weekend and I have been promised lots of fun bday presents from some of my play things......

I will tell you that last night I had to get some action and so I called the bartender (Mr Swivel Hips) and had a nice little quickie. It makes me laugh when guys take ownership over the quickie. they think that they are the only ones to get off with a quickie but let me tell you boys through proper breathing, a little help from my right hand and some well timed muscle clentches I can get off in as little three minutes, and yes that is what makes me the girl that I am. Not all that demanding and cuddling afterward is completely optional....... I love it! Next time you are in bed with whichever girl you are in bed with at the time (no judgement here boys) tell her to do some heavy breathing (forced not just your normal heavy breathing) right as she is building towards the climax and watch the fireworks go off, a little trick I learned from my last girlfriend and wow will I use that for the rest of my life.

Oh hell I've started typping now I might as well share a story with you now. Actually funny thing this one starts off in a cab (ever trying to seduce me, you know where to start) so I'm in the cab with well we'll call her corporal (first real girlfriend) and we are making out something fierce (we had been at the bar doing Dr. pepper shots all night, we were well looped) anyways we decided we're hungry (as you do when you're drunk) and that we had to stop for poutine (all canadians will know what this is) so we get out of the cab (without paying, funny how some lesbian action turns the meter off immediately) and we go into the diner we regularly go into. We drop our stuff in a booth and both of us have to pee. Corporal has that look in her eye and I know I am in for something special. We walk into the bathroom which is deserted and she shoves me into the handicap washroom. Before I can even turn around she has me bent over and she's pulling my panties off. I of course love this (I love being pushed around) and am soaking before she even gets them off me. Next thing I knwo I am perched on the back of the toilet seat and she is completely eating me out. I am not a quiet lover to begin with but combine that with some drinks and I am damn loud. So we are going at it full out and someone knocks on the stall door and says "The whole restaurant can hear you, can you please keep it down a little", we giggle and keep going. By the time we are done, both of us have been quite vocal on how much we had enjoyed our encounter. As we both recover our senses I say "Oh shit what are we going to do we have to walk out of here" and she says to me (and this is why I still love her to this day) "Hold your head high, and hold my hand, everyones just jealous" so we walked out and got a nice round of applause from the men in the diner, and a good glare from the women. So Corporal stops right there and kisses me, and we're not talkinga peck on the lips we're talking full ot, wanted to take her back into the washroom, kiss. We sat down ate our poutine and went home and did it all over again. I got to work the next day (I was still in the closet at the time) and one of the guys I work with said "SO I hear the poutine is really good at the diner" with a little glint in his eye. I blushed of course and he leaned in and said "that was the hottest thing I have ever heard" and walked away..... gotta love that!

"She says she wants some Marvin Gaye, some Luther Vandross, a little Anita, will let me set this party off right"

I absolutely love this song, not the cheesy fast version of it but the slow version, love it, love it, love it! I was brought up on motown and nothing gets me grooving like some good old r&b. I'm not a snob when it comes to r & b I will listen to the new stuff as well. Alicia Keyes is a favorite, so is SWV, maybe some Ginuwine, some Joe, I love it all but nothing beats "The Supremes" and a little Marvn to get me going.

Anyways moving on, no action for me this weekend, it looks like my poor little body is exhausted and needs to stay home and watch movies. I am right in the middle of the "Band of Brothers" mini-series and its made me go home after work all weekend (that and the lack of sleep from friday). I will however tell you a tale of the night I figured out that i was a bit of a Whore.... keep in mind I was 20, so this was risky for me.. oh hell I would still find it a little risky now.

So its 3am and I am in a cab on my way home from a bar with a friend of mine, we drop her off at her house and continue onto mine. Two minutes after she gets out of the cab this half nude woman runs out in front of the cab, she was naked from teh waist down and laughing and running away from a friend who was also naked from the waist down. So anyway I am a wee bit tipsy so I make a comment to the cabbie (who is a younger middle eastern man who at that time was my type completely) I'm not sure exactly what I said to him but I am sure it was along the lines of "she looks like she'll be having way more fun than I will tonight" and the cabbie gets this glimmer in his eye. He asks me if I want to have some fun tonight, I reply glibly that yes of course I would, who wouldn't, he asks me if I want to move to the front seat of the cab, I immediately think yes, but then chastise myself into thinking about it first. We are just turning onto my street at that point and if I don't move quickly we will be in front of my house and my roommates will see the cab and know its me and come out looking, so I act rashly and tell him to pull over. He pulls over and as I am getting into the front seat my mind is racing, should i do this, should i just run, should I do everything that I am really wanting to do, should I let him take the lead, what the hell am I doing, and why am I even hesitating. As I pull shut the door he tells me not to say a word, I was shocked as I was used to university boys who were just as nervous as I was. I nod my head. He asks me if I want to stay here (its the end of the street no houses) or would I like to go to his house, common sense kicks in and I say "no I want to stay here" he tells me to shut up I can nod and shake my head but I may not speak. I nod my head, he tells me to take off my shirt, I comply, he tells me to take off my skirt, I comply, he tells me to put my hands on the bar that is above the door, and under no circumstances am I to take them down, I comply. My heart is racing so fast at this point that I can hardly catch my breath, my panties were soaked through and I was already squirming a little trying to give myself any type of friction down there.

So I am sitting there in my black underwear and bra (thank god I had a good set on that night), and he slides my hips downa little and places my one leg against the back of the seat with my knee bent and my other leg down on the floor, not really the most comfortable position but I was thinking more of how wet my underwear was, then my own comfort. He leans in and kisses me, he has on this spicy cologne that only middle eastern men can get away with, its so strong that it distracts me from the fact that he already has two fingers inside of me. He pulls back and instantly I am fighting the urge to start pushing myself on his fingers. he asks me if I want him to take off my bra, I nod yes, and he does one arm at a time, sucking on each nipple as they appear from underneath the bra. He spends his time sucking on my nipples, kneading my breast all the while rythmically pumping his fingers in and out of me, and every once in a while torturing me by brushing his thumb across my clit. I am about ready to burst at this point, and you have to remember I am a 20 year old that had never had an orgasm when someone else was present in the room before. He keeps this up for what felt like forever but was probably only two mins, until I start to moan, and when I say moan I mean almost yell. I am trying not to say anything for fear if I speak he will stop but it is becoming increasingly difficult not to yell at him, to either fuck me or suck me, because I was going crazy. Just as I thought I would explode he stops, he stops kissing, licking, stroking and thrusting and just backs off, he sits back and looks at me. My eyes flew open wanting to know what the problem was and the moment I opened my eyes a sense of panic flew thru my mind, he was taking of his pants (as gracefully as you can in the front seat of a car) and this mans penis was HUGE! I had never seen one as big as this one, and this panicky thought came to me, as he was putting on the condom, that he was going to split me in half. I didn't have all the much time to think of it as he was back on me in a flash and he didn't give me even a second to ask him to take it slowly, he thrust himself in me in one powerful thrust, I swear I saw stars. I have never been fucked so forcefully as I was by this man, he had me from the front, from behind, and of course my favorite with me sitting on him facing away, all the while my hands were still on the handle above my head. I came while I was sitting on him and could no longer hold my tongue I believe it was something like "oh my fucking God" but it could have been anything. Any woman will attest to the fact that the first time you orgasm from intercourse is unlike any orgasm you can give yourself. It was powerful and rocked me to the core. But before I could recover he told me to get off of him and that because I had spoken I must be punished. Now his idea of punishment was pure delight to me, I am an oral kind of girl and when he forced my head down onto him (after letting go of the bar of course, I'm bendy but not that bendy), I was in heaven. Again the issue of his size came into play but luckily I got my hand around his shaft before he could gag me. This man loved getting head and I learned things from him that I still use today. And when he finally came I swallowed it all, and he kissed me afterwards, the true mark of a gentleman in my books.

I got dressed and told him i would get out here and walk, and thanks for the good time. I never did see him again (except for once and I took the cab behind him instead), but wow will I ever not ever forget him........and no I didn't pay the fare in case you were wondering.....

I'm hurting today, both from the party and from the after party. Had a goodbye party for a friend at work, everyone was there it was a good time. I haven't done a house party in ages, i forgot how much I like sitting on the floor chatting with friends over some drinks. A good laugh was had by all. It always strikes me in these type of settings how very different I act in differing situations. Last night I was sitting cross legged on the floor, arm linked with a good friend of mines just having a good time, not thinking about how I was going to go home with the guy across from me, not being raunchy not being wild, just being Lea no games just a good laugh. But then I snapped out of that and went home with one of the boys and had a great time as well. He's a good guy that likes to be tied up. It always makes me laugh because he's a big guy, over 6'4", probably close to 300 lbs and he likes to be dominated. Its a treat for me as I am usually not the dom. I'm getting better at it I think. I was really shy the first time he asked me to tie him up, I wasn't quite sure what to do, I am so used to being told what to do that when it came time for me to do the telling I was nervous. I remember the first time we were together I basically re-enacted a night with a friend of mine that is a dom, I did everything that he did to me just out of sheer nervousness and lack of creativity. Now I'm getting a little more ballsy, a little more creative, a little less timid. It still takes me a little while to get comfortable but I'm getting better at it. I do enjoy being submissive though. I find that because i am so assertive and outgoing in real life that to have that part of my life that I am completely under the control of someone else is a nice break.

The guy from last night is a guy I actually work with. I have always tried to stay away from that scene as it never ends well. I am always uncomfortable around them the next day (yeah I'm not the smoothest person ever), and I find it hard to totally let go in bed as I am thinking "I have to see this person at work tomorrow". its a pretty common thing amongst servers to sleep with the people you work with (its convenient, they hold the same hours as you do, usually have the same non-committal attitude as yourself) but I have never been comfortable with it until this guy came along. I remember the first time I played with him, I went to work the next day with bite marks all over my neck and shoulders I had starched my collar so that you couldn't see them but he saw them and started laughing and I blushed (I have no control over the blushing thing) and I started getting nervous and uncomfortable. I was dropping things, forgetting things, generally being an ass and he turned to me and said "I can't stop thinking about it either, but you were so confident in bed show me some of that now". As soon as he said it I snapped right out of it and i have never been uncomfortable since. I wouldn't fool around with anyone else though my poor little nerves couldn't handle it. Its the crossing of two worlds and I can't handle that, not yet anyway.

On the menu for tonight, I should go home and sleep (going on two hours sleep for a 15 hour work day) but knowing me I will go out, so maybe I will have a juicy tale for you tomorrow.

Ugh I hate mornings, I really do. I am completely a night person and waking up at 6am does not go well with that. I cannot wait for 8am classes to no longer exist in my world. I suppose it really is mostly my fault because i don't go to bed before 2am ever, but ugh I hate mornings.

Ok so to talk about porn for a moment. I was watching some good old American porn last night with a friend (don't ask why) and I must say that nothing turns me on like two girls, a pair of latext gloves and four fingers shoved up one of the girls vagina. I ask you who the hell came up with this so called "four finger club"? Its gross and I really don't see how you would get any sort of pleasure from it to begin with. I mean check out the fingernails on those girls, I'm surprised they weren't bleeding internally! And just a sidenote if you're wearing two inch thick lipgloss and you start making out ladies its going to be all over your face and your partners face, take a second wipe it off, its distracting. Yeah so I was really turned off by these women, normally I take porn for what it is, but this was really horrible. At least it didn't have any crappy plots, just straight on action no trying to make it look like she just fell onto the other girls fist, I applaud that effort.

I need Timmy's, have a good day.

Oh right I meant to comment on a comment that I made earlier about lesbians not wanting a "quick bang" now what I mean by that is a quick introduction that leads into the banging, I don't really do the one night stand thing (have only ever done it four times) I would rather keep someone as a partner that I can just drop in on, or call up anytime kind of like friends with benefits type thing (how tired is that label). Anyways just a clarification...

OK so the big move that I mentioned earlier, yeah I am moving to a foreign country and I only have three weeks left in this God-forsaken city (ok its not that bad but wow is it stuffy). Anyways so plans are afoot for going away parties and spending one last night with people etc etc. I'm getting slightly stressed out, between the packing, the last minute crunch at school, and all of the merriment that people want to share with me, I am a damn busy girl. Like tonight I thought I would be done work way before I actually was and had planned on going out with my ex-girlfriend. She and I have not been able to hook up in so long and I am feeling slightly guilty about it. Its not like I am avoiding her I just hate making plans! I am very much the type of person that you have to just catch at teh right time to go out with, I don't like making plans ever. I think its the commitement phobe coming out in me, apparently to me plans=death. Who knows why its kind of messed up.

Anyways so we were talking at work today as to what we should do for my going away, now my idea of a good time and a lot of people at works idea of a good time are very very different. I would like to go to a club and dance my ass off high as a kite, then take some beautiful person home with me, fuck until I must sleep and then fuck all morning long. Thats my idea of a great going away party, yeah their idea of a going away party is a pub with some drinks. I agree that it is more practical, I will actually be able to talk with the people I am trying to say goodbye to, and well my legs won't hurt the next day from the dancing but wow am I ever going out the night before the going away party and getting fucked up! Its funny I know there are people that will read this and think "if it were really a good time you wouldn't need the drugs to hav efun". FUCK THAT! I'm not going to apologise for my love of narcotics, they make me giddy just thinking of them! Nothing is better than a good night with some good drugs, spent dancing talking to strangers and fucking until you are exhausted! And although I can fuck until I'm exhausted without the drugs, I sure as hell can't dance all night and I can't talk to strangers all that well either.

Anyways thats what is on my mind tonight, while being stuck in this computer lab..... I want to be done school, now!

Bonita, thanks for the comment, I didn't really expect supportive comments, actually I didn't expect comments at all, it was appreciated.

Well met up with the girl we shall call her Meesh, she's great, and by great I mean we're going to be friends. This is the only problem I have with lesbians, it isn't very often that you are going to meet ones who are out for a quick bang. Especially when they are around my age. I really do like her though and she's got great lips (of course I made out with her). But I think I already have enough friends..... so instead I went home with the bartender. We've known each other for awhile and he's always good for a romp. He's a pretty plain jane kind of guy nothign fancy but he does this thing with his hips while thrusting that I love, its a little like a swivel and a lot like heaven...... I love finding peoples special talents, they get this look in their eye like "I knew you were going to love this". The really good thing about this guy is that I always stay over and we fuck in the morning as well (my favorite time of day). One of the problems of not having a steady sex partner is that you don't usually get sex in the morning, which is always a disappointment to me. You're still half asleep just kind of bumpin into each other. I can think of no greater way to wake up, I love it.

PS The girl from the club called, we're meeting for a drink tonight....

Alright to explain my sudden urge to blog about my sexploits, I admit its encouraged by reading other people's blogs, I don't provide links because I'm not reading other peoples blogs. BUT its not a competitive spirit that has me here (I would lose, I have just started acting on my feelings), its more of an urge to understand myself. Up until this year I have thought of myself as a normal twenty-something girl that is maybe a little bit higher-sexed then some girls but nothing really out of the ordinary, but now I'm not so sure. I have found myself in some situations this year that lead me to believe that there is a Whore deep inside of me trying to get out, and I think I am ok with her coming out.

All of my friends now about my sexual side, they know that I will leave them at the bar (not by themselves but I will leave) if I find someone to play with, they know that I am very open minded and likely to try anything once, they also know I do everything on my terms and never when I don't want to. The difference between myself and some of the people that I have been reading is that it is ONLY my friends that know this side of me. I only count four people as my friends the rest are acquaintances. These acquaintences know that I am fun, care free and single they do not know what I do after hours, they may see me leave the bar but there will always have been a story to go along with it (oh no, she knows that guy they went to university together, or, he's a friend of her brothers etc etc). I have never been able to just come out and be a Whore (a label which a lot of women have a problem with, but that I identify with). I have always protected my outer persona so that people think they know me but don't. Of course I am not a professional at this and there have been leaks, but nothing that couldnt be explained with a "wow was I drunk" or "no, I don't know how I got those bruises".

Personally I am sick of the charade, I have a big move coming up in my life and I am trying to decide which Lea will come with me, the one that is sexually free, open and unapologetic or the Lea that will continue to hide her urges and get her "fixes" where she can do it discreetly. I am hoping that through talking about my romps, or my dreams, or my feelings, I will be able to decide which lea is the real lea, am I playing at being innocent or am I playing at being bad. I don't pretend to be a writer so please if you don't like my writing style don't read. I write as I think, there is no preconceived line of thinking and I cannot promise that you will come away from this site more intelligent, I am just hoping I will.

Just a little chuckle, to let you know a little something about me, I am a student in college (a mature student obviously, I know you don't think I am a teenager). Anyways I am working on this website in a lab at the moment and I have people on either side of me. The girls on my right (that have now left) openly stared and clucked in disapproval, when they saw me adding the links (spent a little time on luxuria reading before I added it), the guy on my left asked for my number. Life is funny....

So last night was pretty tame, game night with the couples. Its funny they asked me, awhile back, if it bothers me that I'm not in a couple and I could honestly say no. I looked around watching the body language and yes for the most part they were comfortable with each other, but then a little comment would be made or a joke told and you could see them visibly get tense. It amuses me that these couples that tell me that they are completely in love and love every part of each other become visibly tense and uncomfortable when their beloved makes a quick joke that they don't like, or says something that bothers the other. These little annoyances are what I don't need. I don't need to be embarassed by something my beloved says or does, or be embarassed at my beloved being embarassed by me. I had more fun, laughed harder and won the games all on my own thank you.

Body language has been fascinating me as of late, a glance held too long here, a step towards a person or away from a person there, a lick of the lips vs a purse of the lips...its good stuff I tell you. Next time you are at a club and you are on the prowl, hold someones gaze just two seconds longer than you normally would, make them that little bit uncomfortable, if they don't waiver, and stare back you're in, go up and say hello, it works everytime.

So I was at the club on Saturday night, not really cruising but when am I ever not cruising at all, when this girl comes up to me and touches my neck asking about my necklace. I was pleased for two reasons, one because the necklace is new and I don't buy anything that I don't want noticed and two because she was hot and some girl action is just what the doctor ordered. What I wasn't pleased with was her friends that were staring me down as if to say "we don't like you already". I get this a lot from lesbians, its like they know I'm bi, there is this huge rift between hardcore lesbians and bisexual women. They have the argument that I am only a part time lesbian and I have the argument that I am way more fun than they are, and really no one likes to be told they're boring.

Anyways she asked for my number I gave it to her along with a kiss to remember me by. This is my favorite part of the night, feeling people out seeing if they are as innocent as they are playing or whether I am going take them home that night and see if we can't teach each other something new.

Well apparently she was as innocent as she was acting (but a pretty good kisser) so instead i had to play with a boy I've known for a while. Wasn't too much of a disappointment though, I always love getting thrown against a wall while blindfolded, just makes things that much more exciting. Seriously though, nothing says loving then bruises the morning after.

As for this blog we'll see where it goes, I may keep it I may not.

So it begins, the first step to acknowledging that you really are the Whore that you think you may be. Should be interesting if not educational.